Skipping September

It's September = it's hell month.
Impossible but i wish i could just skip september and get to october now... look back from where i am in october, and wish i could return to september to correct all mistakes. impossible but i still wish it so.

But the good thing that September brings are birthdays and Gossip Girl's season 2.
I've just finished watching the first episode and i'm going gaga over Lady Gaga's Paparazzi song. I'm also going all kilig over Chuck and Blair.

Favorite scene:
Blair: [waiting in the front lawn for her date's car]
Chuck: [comes up behind Blair]
Blair: Chuck, aren't you done trying to destroy my night?
Chuck: Look, i should never have abandoned you. I knew i made the wrong decision as soon as your plane took off. Distracted myself all summer and i wouldn't feel it but i still do.
Blair: And?
Chuck: I'm scared... I'm scared that if we spend the whole summer together, just us, that you'll see.
Blair: See what?
Chuck: Me.
Chuck: Please don't leave with him.
Blair: Why? Give me a reason. And, "I'm Chuck Bass" doesn't count.
Chuck: Cause you don't want to.
Blair: [shaking her head] Not good enough.
Chuck: Cause I don't want you to.
Blair: [still shaking her head] It's not enough.
Chuck: What else is there?
Blair: The true reason i should stay right where i am and not get in the car. Three words, eight letters... Say it and i'm yours...
Chuck: I... I...
Blair: [pulls her hands away] Thank you. That's all i need to hear.

Bragging Rights

I received a text message from a friend basically telling me that the last of our grades came out and we had to check them online as several of us failed. With great trepidation, we went back to school, beating the library’s closing time by a few minutes in the hopes of online access.

As we waited for the webpage to load, I uttered a last minute prayer that neither I nor one of my friends failed. Euns got hers first, safe! Ces was next, safe! My heart was palpitating louder by the second. Panic doesn’t make me graceful at all as I clumsily logged-in. Euns smacked my lightly as she told me that I had no reason to panic. I didn’t fail. Far from it. We were looking at one of my best grades.

I swore them to secrecy (hopefully, they’d keep it within our group of friends) because I was afraid. I hate bragging. I hate making public any of my accomplishments, a habit that they found strange.

I would have wanted my friends to know but those particular grades were controversial because I wasn’t one of those expected to top it. It would have been fine had everyone else gotten the same grades but some of the best ones barely passed. I don’t know what I’ve done right but I’m not going to question it. It was an unexpected gift. I’m accepting it as it is and passing it on to my parents.

Hide Me

I'm like a tightly closed bud of a flower,
hidden layer by layer of wonderful surprises.

I'm beautiful, I'm brilliant, I'm funny and witty, I'm fragile and sweet, I'm vindictive and loyal, I'm sensitive, I'm a complete enigma. And I'm hidden. Hidden from you and everyone else.
Find me... like I found you - unpolished, rough diamond beneath a pile of fool's gold.
Discover me... like I discovered you - slowly and with great enjoyment as i watched you shine.
Cherish the moment you uncover me like a child who eagerly opens his present on christmas morning.

I am hidden so you can find me.
Find me soon for I am buried beneath all pretty baubles and trinkets.
Hopefully, you are not blinded by all the glitter and sparkle for I am plain and dull.
When you find me at last, do not lose sight of me.
I am hard and edgy from the hiding. If you treasure me, polish me with care until at last I shine like a tear from your eye. And I will be yours forever.

The Baguio Adventure

April 28-30, 2008
Baguio Trip - Melodie, Patty, Hazel, Ana, Pepe, Joan, Arman, Leah & Meliecar
The Plan was set, the invites were out, the rsvps were in, the accomodations were ready, and the fun awaits. Thanks to Arman we had a very comfortable RV for our transpo. Thanks to Patty, Pepe, and Arman we had skilled alternate drivers for the uber long drive. Thanks to Pepe we had super affordable accommodations at the NFA Staff House.

Day 1:
Lunch at Tokyo Tokyo, PowerPlant by 1pm. Left for Baguio by 1:30pm. The drive was long and exciting. I got the best seat because i'm car sick during long drives. Arrived at 8pm. Late dinner at SM, Baguio. Had chicken sisig shared with Lec. Arrived at the NFA Staff house by 9pm. The van slipped while going up the side of the mountain to our cottage, which made all the girls scream like, well, girls. We immediately got down from the van only to be greeted by pitch black night in the middle of the forest. Made our way to the cottage only to find out that there was a stair pathway on the other side. Pagkatapos ipilit iakyat ang van! Sheesh, we could have parked the van below and trekked up. Scary cottage, scared occupants! Not every one had a good night's sleep. Dawn brought the much awaited sunlight to chase away the bad dreams and the ghosts of the night.

Day 2:
Breakfast at Ganza Restaurant, Burningham Park. Toured the park, sipped on strawberry taho and took pretty pictures. Went to Wright Park, watched the horses (and smelled them, too!), climbed the stairs.
Went up, and up, and finally reached the top. Stopped at The Mansion and took crazy, wacky pictures. Trekked back down to Wright Park.

Lunch at Little John's, Camp John Hay. Made our way to Mines View and Good Shepherd for a pasalubong shopping spree. Rode on towards PMA. Went up the tree house, watched the trainees doing drills and running around, climbed tanks, took funny pictures.

Dinner at Don Henrico's. Went to the grocery for late night snacks and a bottle of Tequila Rose.

Day 3:
8:30am. Breakfast at Jollibee. Went to La Trinidad, Benguet. Tasted Strawberry ice cream, wanted to pick strawberries, bought strawberries and veggies. (Strawberry fields forever)


We climbed our way up (while counting 230 steps to the altar) to the Lourdes Grotto in Benguet. Had lunch @ Dencio's, Camp John Hay after we played in the playground.
Went down from Baguio via Kennon Road. On the way home, we decided to visit Manaoag. We asked intervention from the Lady of Manaoag. I was trully awed by its beauty and sanctity.
With pouring rain, bumper-to-bumper traffic, and impending sunset, we went home to our normal everyday lives. The adventure may have ended but the memories (and the pictures) are beautiful reminders of forged bonds and shared joy.

Fear of the Unknown

The spaces in between

The lapses of silence

Sometimes scare me.

I’m not good at subtle

Tell me, talk to me

But I am afraid

Of knowing, of the reality,

Of change, of things yet to come,

Of what I have to hear.

I am such a coward.

Free Hugs (I Hug You!)

This is the cutest post card Patty and I saw yesterday at Fully Booked. It was very fitting for me because I was feeling down. On the back of the card, it says:

HUGS...
Hugging is good medicine. It transfers energy, and gives the person hugged an emotional boost. You need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth. A hug makes you feel good. The skin is the largest organ we have and it needs a great deal of care. A hug can cover a lot of skin and gives the message that you care. It is also a form of communication. It can say things you don't have words for. The nicest thing about a hug is that you usually can't give one without getting one.

Author unknown

It was very clever. It made me wonder whether I lacked hugging since I didn't seem to grow (vertically, emotionally, etc.). Hmmm... I need a hug!

Shared Solitude

I was down. I felt so depressed, I was in need of solitude. I went to the bookstore to read a novel, as I always do when I feel like this. A new book from a favorite author! I sat in the two-seater cushion and started reading. You sat beside me. My bag filled with books between us. I didn't notice you at first, I was so engrossed in my book. I read my book, you read yours. You stood up and left. Still I didn't give much notice. You came back with a new book. The cushion dipped as you sat. I glanced at you, you seemed to be as engrossed as I was with my book. I move around in my seat, you didn't seem to mind. You got up to find other books, I didn't mind. Three hours, we sat beside each other in comfortable silence. I finished my book and felt so much better. I didn't want to leave, but my friends are waiting. I didn't want the comfortable way we sat to end. Because it made me peaceful, this shared silence. I didn't ask your name, you didn't ask mine. I got up to leave, the cushion shifted. You glanced at me. Sorry I have to leave.
Thank you. You might not know it but you made me feel better. You were a steady presence beside me. Thank you for sharing my solitude.

Guardian Angel

This song is called Guardian Angel by Hong Jun Yang. I fell in love with while watching Angel, I love you aka PS i love you.



Last night was a blast! the last "inuman" before midterms. Patty, Rach, Eunice, Sam, Maj, Chris, Dae, Ces, Hazel and I (after a grueling day of studying) decided to have a midnight "break" from being nerds. Leaving our books at Starbucks, we went to Good Earth and drank.

Eunice: There's nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward. After all, it's still your foot.

un na! Thank you, girls, for a great great end to a boring day!

Right now, i'm off to Starbucks to study. I needs lots of luck next week for midterm exams.

Angel I love you...

One of my favorite scenes...

Roy went to get a drink for Tammy and was gone for a long time. Walking back to Tammy...
Tammy: [irritated] Stand there and don't follow me. [walks away]
Roy: [obediently stays where he is while people pass by him in the middle of the path]
After a while, she sees him still standing where she left him and feels sorry.
Tammy: Why are you still here?
Roy: You told me to stand right here.
Tammy: Are you stupid or what?
Roy: I am stupid. That's why i made you angry.
Tammy: I'm very domineering, right?
Roy: [shakes his head]
Tammy: I get angry over trivial matters. It's not too late for regrets now.
Roy: I have no regrets.
Tammy: I get angry over trivial matters.
Roy: I'll keep quiet and wait for you to finish throwing your tantrums.
Tammy: I'll run away too.
Roy: I promise you that i'll stand here and wait for you.

Roy: [after drawing on her apartment wall a cartoon of their wedding] Do you like it?
Tammy: [nods and smiles]
Roy: Besides being your guardian angel, i would like to spend the rest of my life with you.
Tammy: Why should I promise you?
Roy: Because I don't know who else to love except you. You're very important to me. I'll always care for and protect you. Wherever you are, i'm always only a turn away... so that you can see me easily.

and he died. She waited for him, not knowing that he died. She waited for him to come back. And he did in the form of an angel, pushing her to find happiness in the arms of another man.

How sad. (T.T) But i'm such a sucker for tragedies and one-time-big-time love. It's exactly my kind of movie.

A Rainy Saturday

It started out my usual Saturday - a whole day of leisure and net-surfing, went to mass with my roomies, and planned to study at Starbucks. Unfortunately, the looming rain decided to pour [and i mean POUR down right after mass, may kasama pang thunder and lightning (T.T) which i absolutely dread]. Ces, eunice and i were trapped and stranded in school along with those who had no umbrellas (Rihanna's song comes to mind here. Ela, ela, under my umbrella). After their round of yosi, we decided to brave the weather and go to Market Market! [ kyaaa! *grins with anticipation* another spontaneous adventure about to begin...]

Dinner at Oody's [ugh, my burger steak has veggies in it *pukes*]. Shopped a little. [ces and euns got "nerdy" glasses! haha]... [oh, and ces was seriously contemplating buying a phone! thank God, she resisted that temptation] Transferred to study at Serendra.

On our way to Bonifacio High St. parking, we saw that the oh-so-new Fully-Booked bldg had Starbucks on the 3rd floor with a balcony. And it closes at 12 midnight. Perfect. The night was turning out really nice.

It was my first time in the new Fully-Booked so I was impressed at the size of the store and the very "Fully-Booked" kind of lay-out. Loved it! *dancing around with glee* Reminded me of my National Bookstore heaven in Cubao. And this one is nearer and newer. I had to force myself to sit and study *sob sob* coz i really wanted to explore the place. [?wondering why all this time we never entered the building everytime we went to coffee bean?] We even met Ma'am Maita Chan-Gonzaga [surprisingly, we always see her at various Starbucks]. *wink wink*

Sadly, the clock struck 12 and the Cinderellas had to go home. But, we promised ourselves that we'd hang out and study there again soon. ;-)

Pseudo fiction

Look back, she thought.

Call out my name, he thought.

The silence was deafening, broken only by the sound his footsteps. He took one step. One step towards the door. One step farther from her. Two. Three.

It was a game they played. How far can he go without looking back, without missing a step. How far can she let him go without her asking him to say, without her calling his name.

He was at the door, reaching for the handle.

Dammit, stay, she wanted to say.

He sighed. She held her breath.

“I’m leaving,” he said without turning back. The knob clicked as he opened the door.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. Tears started to cloud her vision.

“I know. I am, too.”

With that he left. He left her. The room smelled of sun-kissed flowers.

Damn her pride. Damn his weakness. Damn it all, love is bittersweet.