A Day With My Best Friend

I’m writing this while listening to Hyde’s Shallow Sleep.

Yesterday was an eventful day. Woke up feeling refreshed, watched a couple of episodes of Japanese jdoramas, ate pizza for lunch and texted my high school best friend, Mutya, if she was free. She agreed to come to Powerplant with her brother. *danced with joy* I finally get to hang out with her (our attempts to see each other was foiled by the typhoons). Spontaneous works best with us, proven and tested. I toured her and her little brother, Tim, around the mall and shopped. We finally got to talk and just hang out. She treated us merienda while dinner was on me. All in all, it was a great way to catch up. But it was bitin. I felt like I wanted to tell her so many things but I didn't have enough time.

She’s the kind of person who’s genuinely adorable. And I love her. Being with her for the past 18 years is such a blessing. One I often take for granted. I often think that she’s been the glue to our barkada, the mom/ate, the joker, the most friendly, the most beautiful, the practical one, the dependable one. But she’s leaving. Leaving for the States. To be with her husband. The reason she’s here in Manila was to get her visa. She’s here to chase her dream. A fairytale love story, a fairytale wedding with hopefully a fairytale ever after.

I should be happy. I am happy for her. But the selfish little child in me is crying. She’s leaving. Leaving us. She is the last constant reminder of my high school life. Life as I know it will soon change. I fear that change. I might not handle it was gracefully as I can. Without her, we might break. Without her, we might forget the “us” that we once were. I pray for the strength to keep our friendship.

“To where has love gone? Will I ever reach it? The Cape of Storms echoes the pain I feel inside.” – The Cape of Storms by Hyde in Kagen No Tsuki

I realize that the past trials that almost broke us apart was cushioned by her presence. She is the healer of broken hearts and broken spirits. With her help and her constant presence, we found forgiveness and a sense of peaceful acceptance. More trials loom, threatening to break the mended bonds. Distance. Change. Adulthood. I pray for a stronger love. I pray that 10 years from now, we can look back chuckling over our own foolishness and baseless fears. I desperately wish for that future because I am afraid of the present.

“Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear. I will let it pass through me.” – Leto, Children of Dune