Friday, July 20, 2007

It's a different kind of high

RECITATION.
As a student, I should have gotten used to it by now! I've been studying for 18 years. But I never have. I've always been terrified of public speaking. Always.
I remember standing in front of the whole grade school after being chosen to say the Lord's Prayer.
Joan: [anxiously waiting for the Lupang Hinirang to end] breathe in. breathe out.
[my turn to hold the microphone] Our Father... Our Father... Our Father who art in heaven... hik! [throat closes]

Same thing happened when I joined the Oration contest. I forgot the lines and had to stop for a long while. I repeated the whole thing. Aba, hindi pa talaga nagtanda, nag-join pa ulit. Extemporaneous speaking contest. Kamusta naman ang 3 sentences lang ang sinabi for 5 minutes! I kept paraphrasing the whole 3 sentences. The very recent "most embarassing" recit was the one in Intro to Law class. I got called to recite a case and I ended up repeating the case title thrice. That was as far as i got.

But today, I was so down [due to a bad recit yesterday where i got called to solve the a problem on the board] and I was waiting for a good recit. I love the anxiousness of waiting to be called. I fear it. I hate it. I crave it. The feeling of my stomach dropping to the floor, my heart at my throat, my thoughts free falling to blankness. The suspense of it all...
Joan: [explains in a very malumanay way] Hence, it cannot be done because the law is clear.
Prof: [looking skeptic]... That's a good answer.
Joan: [big audible sigh of relief] [sits down with a big smile and spine-tingling sensation]

After that, it took me 15 mins to stop shaking. It's a different kind of high, really.

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