... is the one thing that I need most right now. As the days go by to the moment I face another monster in my life. I know my faith will waver, leading me to question things that I don't have answers to. Yet the coward that I am, I'm deliberately prolonging the agony, deliberately forgetting, desperately wanting to forget. The clock ticks. The hands keep moving. Trickling down to the day I face one of my worst fears.
The beauty of stress and school is that they keep you from thinking of things other than what needs to be done right at that moment. The endless studying, cramming, and note taking keeps the mind off things that the subconscious ponders. School is a wonderful excuse of forgetting. It has become my escape.
Unfortunately, stuff that I've outrun are catching up to me. School has ended for the meantime.
I have no excuses left. No more pretenses. No more dreaming. I just wish that the pain will be dulled soon. I just wish that I can soon look back and smile fondly at the hazy, dreamlike memories.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Santong Dasal
A message from God:
"No man can ever claim you unless he claims you from me.
I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves me even more than he will love you.
I won't give you unless he asks you from me.
Soon, you will know him, I have the perfect time.
You're my princess, my daughter.
Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from my hand...
For I am your Father, the King of kings.
You, my princess, are worth loving."
"No man can ever claim you unless he claims you from me.
I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves me even more than he will love you.
I won't give you unless he asks you from me.
Soon, you will know him, I have the perfect time.
You're my princess, my daughter.
Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from my hand...
For I am your Father, the King of kings.
You, my princess, are worth loving."
Monday, October 6, 2008
Puzzling
One of my many fascinations are puzzles. I discovered it in college. My LS project/group thesis in college involved puzzles. We made a business out of making and selling puzzles. I fell in love with puzzles. No, not the jigsaw 1000 piece puzzles. The wooden brainteaser types.
As I am in the middle of my study break, I find myself thinking of wooden puzzle boxes. I'm dreaming of a house of puzzles. Puzzle doors and puzzle furnitures. What fun it would be if a guest couldn't find his/her door! Metal puzzles for faucets and light switches, wooden box puzzles for cabinets and knick knacks, assemble/entanglement puzzles for table tops and puzzles for place mats and rugs.
I've always loved solving puzzles. My favorite movies include Da Vinci Code and National Treasure. But more than the knowledge, I love keeping secrets. Puzzles are great secret keepers. I adore the wooden resolute desks in National Treasure 2 and I plan to have one built when I'm able to afford one.
Recently, I have a fascination for Japanese wooden puzzle boxes. Clever and functional. Beautiful artwork and incredible craftmanship.
To see what I mean, check out this site: http://stores.brilliantpuzzles.com/-strse-Wooden-Puzzle-Boxes/searchpath/34343082/start/13/total/81/Categories.bok
Also this one: http://www.cleverwood.com/japanese_artists_price_list.htm
I'm into brass/metal puzzles as well: http://puzzlemuseum.com/month/picm08/2008-01-sun&moon.htm
As I am in the middle of my study break, I find myself thinking of wooden puzzle boxes. I'm dreaming of a house of puzzles. Puzzle doors and puzzle furnitures. What fun it would be if a guest couldn't find his/her door! Metal puzzles for faucets and light switches, wooden box puzzles for cabinets and knick knacks, assemble/entanglement puzzles for table tops and puzzles for place mats and rugs.
I've always loved solving puzzles. My favorite movies include Da Vinci Code and National Treasure. But more than the knowledge, I love keeping secrets. Puzzles are great secret keepers. I adore the wooden resolute desks in National Treasure 2 and I plan to have one built when I'm able to afford one.
Recently, I have a fascination for Japanese wooden puzzle boxes. Clever and functional. Beautiful artwork and incredible craftmanship.
To see what I mean, check out this site: http://stores.brilliantpuzzles.com/-strse-Wooden-Puzzle-Boxes/searchpath/34343082/start/13/total/81/Categories.bok
Also this one: http://www.cleverwood.com/japanese_artists_price_list.htm
I'm into brass/metal puzzles as well: http://puzzlemuseum.com/month/picm08/2008-01-sun&moon.htm
Hiding Behind My Book
One of my most embarrassing moments of this semester happened a few hours ago.
I was in the throes of panic, to my defense, since i was seriously cramming my way into reading the Revised Penal Code. I forgot where i was supposed to be seated in the room. I was "bullying" (<-- according to Ces, which i absolutely deny) another person into leaving his seat. We had to confirm the arrangements from the proctor. Of course, I insisted that i was seated in that area. To my utter mortification, i read the seat plan wrong! Darned that teacher's table. He was, in fact, where he was supposed to be. I was the one usurping his seat. Grreeeaaatttt... Right, i really needed that extra embarrassment on top of my last minute cramming. Fortunately, he's an acquaintance and the story turned out really funny when Euns was telling it, especially when he was with his blockmates in the next bench in McDonald's.
Ugh, it was still embarrassing, however. This leads me to conclude that i've started several friendships this way. 1.) I fought over a front row seat with Quino in Economics in college and we later became friends; 2.) Sao, our new blockmate, took my seat (it's where i usually seat in class where i'm surrounded by friends) and I had to get it back by coming early and taking my seat back. Well, Sao seems to have forgotten the whole thing and we've become friends since then. So, i guess, I'm going to become friends with him as well. Hmmm, my methods of finding friends really are unique!
I was in the throes of panic, to my defense, since i was seriously cramming my way into reading the Revised Penal Code. I forgot where i was supposed to be seated in the room. I was "bullying" (<-- according to Ces, which i absolutely deny) another person into leaving his seat. We had to confirm the arrangements from the proctor. Of course, I insisted that i was seated in that area. To my utter mortification, i read the seat plan wrong! Darned that teacher's table. He was, in fact, where he was supposed to be. I was the one usurping his seat. Grreeeaaatttt... Right, i really needed that extra embarrassment on top of my last minute cramming. Fortunately, he's an acquaintance and the story turned out really funny when Euns was telling it, especially when he was with his blockmates in the next bench in McDonald's.
Ugh, it was still embarrassing, however. This leads me to conclude that i've started several friendships this way. 1.) I fought over a front row seat with Quino in Economics in college and we later became friends; 2.) Sao, our new blockmate, took my seat (it's where i usually seat in class where i'm surrounded by friends) and I had to get it back by coming early and taking my seat back. Well, Sao seems to have forgotten the whole thing and we've become friends since then. So, i guess, I'm going to become friends with him as well. Hmmm, my methods of finding friends really are unique!
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